Over the 6 weeks of my practicum, I have learned so much. I was so happy to be able to work with such amazing students - each with their own struggles, stregths and goofy personalities. I am also so thankful for the amazing support from all the staff members at St.Matthew. I never felt afraid to participate fully in their school community.
I love that I was given the oppotunity to grow so much as an educator - to practice my teaching philophy; to develop a complete vision for how I want to interact, present myself and communicate as a teacher; to better envision my ideal physical classroom space, community and atmosphere I hope to help build in furure years; to get just a little bit closer to knowing what works well and what doesn't (and that this will depend on the group you are working with, individuals within that group and who ate breakfast that morning); to learn how I want to come across to my students in the future and how to build more meaningful relationships with the students I interact with. I have read about varying strateiges, philophies, theories and tools relating to education, and I think I am finally beginning to see how this sometimes overwhelming amount of content and information can really help individual educators create their own personal, special and influential experiences in their classrooms. On my last day, I recived many thank-yous. The best feeling in the world happened when a student - one who was struggling in the class and with myself on some days - came up to me on my last day and thanked me for helping them through the course and for being there for him. He became sad when I informed him I may not teach him again. Now, I know he will be fine wihtout me. I know there will be others that will help him find his way. I am just so honored to know that some students, even if its just one, will be able to look back upon my time as their teacher and know that I have helped them positively in the course and in their lives. That impact is real. That feeling is irreplacable.
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Since entering the school in September, I have been able to make some amazing connections with students, staff and others in the school community. I find my experience has been so positive and I have been very warmly welcomed back to St.Matts. Here are just some of the amazing things I have been a part of during my time at St.Matts...
Literacy Test Workshops I was lucky enough to work along side many english department teachers to create a literacy test workshop. This workshop was run for 4 weeks, with a variety of students taking advantage of the great opportunity presented. During these workshops, I worked with students with varying degrees of readiness and abilities relating to the literacy test. Some came just to review, others came as part of an initiative designed by the resource centre, while others came to prepare for writing the test a second time. I ran the newpaper article station. Here, students could preactice finding important facts from titles and pictures, as well as practicing writing a blueprint of a possible newspaper article that could be found on their test. Although the tests did not end up happening in the first semester, I found the students felt much more comfortable and confident with the content after attending the workshops. It was also a wonderful opportunity to build relationships with students outside of my own classroom. We Day and Anti-Bullying Week Getting involved with We Day was a very rewarding part of my practicum. Along with attending We Day, I became involved with the Me to We group, where we worked together to design posters and activities around anti-bullying week. Here is an article I wrote for the school newspaper: https://docs.google.com/document/d/18eeE-WWVHe7BkLgPYKlI5eRttC27hW-S6ysA2qSh64o/edit EQAO Math Workshops / Math Help Sessions Along with literacy test workshop preparations, I also helped with a few math and science EQAO prep and help sessions. Here, I worked along side math teachers as well as Laura, a fellow student teacher, to help students prepare for the EQAO test, or get any additional math or science help they needed. These sessions ran after school and during lunch time. Students seemed to be very grateful for having a drop-in style help session for whenever they have any problems. New Pedagogoies of Deep Learning During one of my grade 10 science classes, a large group of researchers came to interview myself, my AT and other students regarding the integration of new pedagogies for deep learning into day-to-day activities in the classroom. Here, the researchers pushed me to think about how my lessons incorporated and assessed important skills such as communication, collaboration and critical thinking. Researchers were also able to see how these skills were specifically incorporated into a project the students were working on (creating a graphic organizer for animal system interactions). I must admit, yesterday I had a mini breakdown. I think I was able to hold back most of my frustrations for when I got home, so luckily my students didn't see me crack (atleast, I hope not). At this point though, I know they know I'm frustrated. I also know that they know that, so far atleast, there has been little to no consequences for their actions (other than me begging for their respect...I think this may have backfired).
I think the hardest part of distractions, disengagement and off-topic questions is that I am not sure what to do from here. I'm not sure how to make the good days more frequent. Honestly, I'm afraid to punish my class. I know, even though they don't always respect me, that they atleast like me. If I start to punish them, will they just turn away from me even more? Do I focus on the bunch of students who are the most disruptive, or do I continue to talk about respect and paying attention on a whole class level? In teachers college, you are told that building relationships with your students are creating an environment that supports intrinsic engagement will solve all life's problems. I now feel stuck...I feel like I have put a lot of effort in getting to know my students. I have also tried to make lessons as dynamic and engaging as possible (I've been told my lessons are awesome. #win.). I have realized, though, that class dynamics are dependent are more than just these two factors. Now, don't get me wrong, I know these two factors are extremely important. I don't even want to imagine where i'd be if I didn't put effort into building relationships and making egaging lessons. But I have also realized the importance of having clear rules and clear concequences if those rules are borken. I also have realized the importance of follow-through. It is so important that students trust you - trust you with the good consequences, and the bad. If the students recoginize you as a real person, with real emotions, real trust and understanding, and real authority, they will grow to respect you more. One thing I try to remind myself regularly is that every day is a new day. I should not forget about the bad days; however, I will never be able to work well with my students if I hold things against them. I have also realized that good days are never perfect. In a roudy class of 35, I will probably have to stop my lesson to wait for silence everyday. I will probably have to call out people for not having their materials, not being in uniform, or getting up when they shouldn't. I will probably go my entire career having to give out detentions (not daily, but it will happen). I have realized....this is ok. Life isn't perfect, teaching isn't perfect. Most importantly, I have also realized that even through the tough days, teaching is what I love. The emotion I feel on bad days makes me realize how passioante I am about the success of the class and the success of my students. I also think about the good days - my students make me laugh all of the time. We smile together, explore together and learn together. I know that eventhough it is tough, I would never want to be anywhere else. My thought for today: there is a difference between busy with a purpose and crazyness.
In my first practicum, I planned my lessons in a way that got students involved, engaged, talking to eachother, walking and DOING. Because I had a classroom with clear guidelines in place and a group of students who understood what was expected of them, this method of teaching came effortlessly; however, trying to bring this into a class where a) I am introduced in October and b) I tried to change the way the classroom runs, appeared to be more difficult. This situation requies me to meticulously plan every activity in order to ensure the chaos remain atleast somewhat productive. Of course, there are many factors that affect the classroom expeirence (which I will get into more in my next post). Although this has proved to be challenging, I have also come to realize that finding the balance between daily routines and changing activities is required to maintain engagement and create a spark of intrigue and excitment in lessons. When I first began, I would do everything in my power NOT to lecture. I honestly looked at me talking to the whole class as a bad thing; nevertheless, I have realized that getting content to your students is an important part of learning. They cannot participate fully in deeper learning activities if they never learn the basic content. I had to convince myself that it is ok to take 20 minutes to talk about and discuss a subject with a class. Not every day, not all the time, not straight through - but....it was ok. I also realize, however, that lecturing must be supported. Students must work with the content they learn. Recognizing and defining words, for example, is valuable, but students should be able to move beyond this. We should expect and hope our students can take what they have learned and build on it in their own way. Yet, this does not mean that if students are exciting and talking to eachother that they are necessarily experiencing deeper learning. Walking around the classroom, one can notice that most of the laughs have nothing to do with mitosis. Although providing opportunity for relationship building is an important part of classroom development, it is also important to create tasks that encourage communication, collaboration and further cirtical thinking about the subject. For example, I had an experience where students were asked to "teach" their classmates about a component of the cell. I allowed this to be a very open-ended assignment, and I found many of the students just copied answers off of eachother. So, next time when planning a similar project involving the musckuloskeletal system, I designed the activtiy with more guidelines. Students will have to create a google slide presentation and present their ideas to their group. Then, all group members will have to answer questions made up by the presenters. This ensure that all students will be teaching their specific subject to their peers, and all peers will have to participate fully, thereby increasing their understanding of the topic. So far, my practicum has been extremely hectic and chaotic, but I wouldn't have it any other way. If I could make the perfect classroom, I would make sure that students are on task for all of the 75 minutes. However, I realize that might not always be the case (actually, that is rarely the case). I am realizing, however, that having speific daily routines while consistantly changing the types of day-to-day activities we do in class will help students feel comfortable in their environments and exicited to see what the next day has in store. The first two weeks of practicum did not go as I expected them to. When I reflect on my experiences from last year, I wasn’t anticipating any problems going into this semester. I mean, both classes were grade 10 academic, so how different could they be? Well, the dynamics are definitely different. I have learned that no matter how similar a class may seem compared to another, there will always be differences and alternative struggles we will have to face. There are so many factors that have affected the classroom atmosphere. From how the classes are set up (in my case, pods vs. lab desks), to the number of students (low 20s to 35), to the subject matter (math vs science), to the individuals themselves, each and every class will have unique setbacks and unique strengths.
These past two weeks have allowed me to come into my own as an equitable teacher, making me realize that sternness can have a place, just as laughing, joking and smiling does. I have realized that setting clear expectations with a class is extremely important in order to ensure that students fully understand what they (and I) are expected to do and what possible consequences may be if expectations are not met. I find this is particularly important in a class where there are many activities and group work involved. In a room full of hyper and moving bodies, it is critical that all students are aware of the importance of respecting each other, the class and the school. The first week was a big adjustment. This week felt a bit better. By the end of it, I knew everyone’s names. That’s a start.
I must admit, although observing my AT from the perspective of a teacher candidate was interesting, I was happy I was exposed to different things around the school this week. I was able to sit in on a few classes, including a math class that reminded me quite a bit of the layout of the classroom from my last practicum. It was refreshing to see that innovative classrooms are popping up in all schools, in multiple forms (whether it is math or science, urban or suburban; public or Catholic). I also was able to start teaching again…Yay! If you were to have asked me at the end of August if I would teach in the first two weeks, I would have said “no way! I need more time!!”, but, after only a few days of observing, I really wanted to jump right in. Taking over just one class has already made my standing in the school more apparent to the students. I have been able to grow closer to them, and get to know more about each of them on individual levels. I wasn’t just a weirdo stranger sitting at the back of the class; I slowly became part of their school experience. One student felt comfortable enough to share his past schooling experiences with me (some of which weren’t easy), which made me feel that the hard (and sometimes awkward) work of getting to know your students is worth it. I still feel, however, that I am struggling to be taken seriously by some of the students I interact with. When teaching my lesson, the students were very well behaved and generally stayed on task during the more interactive parts of the lesson; however, I noticed I did have to remind a few students to stay on task when they were in partners completing the homework. This may be due to the fact that I allowed the students to choose their groups (I have noticed that randomized groups often help students stay on task and share ideas about the subject matter). Next time, I may choose a more creative way for students to work in class, whether that be different groups, different format (ex. Kahoots or white boards rather than just pen to paper) or different types of questions. I also find that circulating and ensuring students remain engaged in a class of 35 is very, very different than in a class of 20. I am definitely beginning to realize the effect class size can have on the layout of your physical classroom and lesson plan. For instance, when planning to take up the homework, I was trying to think of ways in which the students could get up and moving while working together to answer the questions; however, the sheer number of bodies compared to vertical writing surfaces was too high. I will definitely need to get more creative in the ways I plan on setting up the classroom and my lessons for my 6 weeks in November. Even after reflecting on the possible causes of difficulty and changes I could make, I feel I should address this feeling of uneasiness that still sits with me . I am unsure if this lack of attention I appeared to receive is due to the fact that they actually do not take me as seriously, or if it is because I feel at times inadequate compared to the teachers whom have worked in these classrooms for years. Was this apparent, yet slight, lack of attention due to the fact that I am less respected, or was I just more sensitive to whether or not students remain engaged? Are there times I should just let it slide rather than addressing this issue? Maybe the students were just having a more talkative day? I think it is a combination of everything. When you are surrounded by teachers you think do a great job and are able to keep the class fully engaged, it can be hard to compare yourself to them. Yet, I recognize that I am particularly hard on myself, and am at times overly sensitive. I know that as I continue in my career, I will be in many unfamiliar hallways and classrooms (particularly in the first few years) where I will not be taken seriously nor will I be the favorite teacher. I must work towards being more comfortable with the uneasy feelings I sometimes get, while using other educators as inspiration to better my own practice and continuing to build stronger relationships with the students I get to work with. This week, I was also able to meet with the Principal, Debbie Clark, to discuss the possible route of my CSL placement. Along with the other student teachers, I will be helping implement a literacy test workshop for particular students whom have been identified as needing extra support. This year is different as the literacy test will be given twice (one in October, and one next spring as usual). There are definitely valid concerns about how these tests will be run (especially due to the fact that the one is October will be completely digital), so I hope my involvement will take some stress off of the staff that are leading this daunting task. I also will be working with Chantal Tadiello and students planning on going to We Day, which I am particularly excited about. I have not been able to attend We Day personally, so it will be an interesting experience to see such an inspiring group of students come together to celebrate their amazing accomplishments. This will also give me the opportunity to help students from St. Matts support local and international causes. For example, the club worked with CHEO and helped support Syrian refugee families with a food/clothing drive last year. At lunches, I plan on running a tutoring session for the Football team, as many of the students require some motivation and support in order to balance their studies and sports. With all the crazy challenges and new experiences in and outside the classroom, I am very much looking forward to continuing at St. Matthew during my CSL placements and practicum! My nerves over the past two weeks have definitely been heightened, which is no different as to how I was feeling the morning I met (or saw again) my new co-workers and students. The strangest part for me is the fact that my practicum placement is in my old high school. The people I viewed as my teachers 6 years ago have quickly become my colleagues. And, to top it off, my sister is in the midst of completing her senior year. When I walked into the school for the staff meeting, the atmosphere was very familiar, yet foreign at the same time. I recognized some of my old art work on the walls, and many of the faces were ones I have seen many times before; And yet, there was a lot of change. I saw many new faces and new pieces of art. The halls that I once ruled in my highschool days weren’t mine anymore. The nostalgia seemed to juxtapose the unfamiliarity perfectly.
As with changes from my time at the school, the school also varies significantly from my previous practicum experience, at least in theory. At first glance, Ridgemont and st.Matthews could not be farther apart; One public, one Catholic. No uniforms, uniforms. One urban, one very much suburban. From math to science. Everything appeared as if I would be entering a new world from a teaching standpoint. And yet, even within the first week, I have noticed so many similarities. Both schools have a wonderfully strong community. I felt this from the tremendously warm welcomes at the first staff meeting. The tiger pride is so strong at this school. All the students seem to be delighted to go to st.Matts. From the welcome bbq, to the silly jokes on the morning announcements, you can tell that everyone feels at home here. I also believe that my experiences and focuses working in the urban setting is already helping me connect with and better understand the people I learn beside. I am (slowly) getting to know all of my students better. I must say, with larger class sizes than I have ever been able to experience before, this isn’t always the easiest; however, I have already seen how a smile in the hall or a ‘hello’ as the kids enter the class can have an affect. I also see that regardless of whether a school is labelled as “urban”, students are going to have individual and collective challenges. High school can be hard, regardless of where you are from. Yes, some of the larger issues are more upfront in an urban setting, but the skills and experiences I have gained through learning about urban education are already crossing over in every aspect of my experience in this practicum. As I continue with my practicum, I am constantly reminded of what a speaker said during my first year orientation. To paraphrase, I am not a science teacher. I am not a math teacher. I am first and foremost a teacher. Teaching is more than the subject. The content does not affect your ability to teach well, learn with your students and grow beside them. Building relationships, creating inclusive and safe environments, using technology and other exciting resources to add to the classroom experience, helping students get and remain engaged in the class and truly caring for the people around you are what it is all about. |
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December 2016
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