I must admit, yesterday I had a mini breakdown. I think I was able to hold back most of my frustrations for when I got home, so luckily my students didn't see me crack (atleast, I hope not). At this point though, I know they know I'm frustrated. I also know that they know that, so far atleast, there has been little to no consequences for their actions (other than me begging for their respect...I think this may have backfired).
I think the hardest part of distractions, disengagement and off-topic questions is that I am not sure what to do from here. I'm not sure how to make the good days more frequent. Honestly, I'm afraid to punish my class. I know, even though they don't always respect me, that they atleast like me. If I start to punish them, will they just turn away from me even more? Do I focus on the bunch of students who are the most disruptive, or do I continue to talk about respect and paying attention on a whole class level? In teachers college, you are told that building relationships with your students are creating an environment that supports intrinsic engagement will solve all life's problems. I now feel stuck...I feel like I have put a lot of effort in getting to know my students. I have also tried to make lessons as dynamic and engaging as possible (I've been told my lessons are awesome. #win.). I have realized, though, that class dynamics are dependent are more than just these two factors. Now, don't get me wrong, I know these two factors are extremely important. I don't even want to imagine where i'd be if I didn't put effort into building relationships and making egaging lessons. But I have also realized the importance of having clear rules and clear concequences if those rules are borken. I also have realized the importance of follow-through. It is so important that students trust you - trust you with the good consequences, and the bad. If the students recoginize you as a real person, with real emotions, real trust and understanding, and real authority, they will grow to respect you more. One thing I try to remind myself regularly is that every day is a new day. I should not forget about the bad days; however, I will never be able to work well with my students if I hold things against them. I have also realized that good days are never perfect. In a roudy class of 35, I will probably have to stop my lesson to wait for silence everyday. I will probably have to call out people for not having their materials, not being in uniform, or getting up when they shouldn't. I will probably go my entire career having to give out detentions (not daily, but it will happen). I have realized....this is ok. Life isn't perfect, teaching isn't perfect. Most importantly, I have also realized that even through the tough days, teaching is what I love. The emotion I feel on bad days makes me realize how passioante I am about the success of the class and the success of my students. I also think about the good days - my students make me laugh all of the time. We smile together, explore together and learn together. I know that eventhough it is tough, I would never want to be anywhere else.
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My thought for today: there is a difference between busy with a purpose and crazyness.
In my first practicum, I planned my lessons in a way that got students involved, engaged, talking to eachother, walking and DOING. Because I had a classroom with clear guidelines in place and a group of students who understood what was expected of them, this method of teaching came effortlessly; however, trying to bring this into a class where a) I am introduced in October and b) I tried to change the way the classroom runs, appeared to be more difficult. This situation requies me to meticulously plan every activity in order to ensure the chaos remain atleast somewhat productive. Of course, there are many factors that affect the classroom expeirence (which I will get into more in my next post). Although this has proved to be challenging, I have also come to realize that finding the balance between daily routines and changing activities is required to maintain engagement and create a spark of intrigue and excitment in lessons. When I first began, I would do everything in my power NOT to lecture. I honestly looked at me talking to the whole class as a bad thing; nevertheless, I have realized that getting content to your students is an important part of learning. They cannot participate fully in deeper learning activities if they never learn the basic content. I had to convince myself that it is ok to take 20 minutes to talk about and discuss a subject with a class. Not every day, not all the time, not straight through - but....it was ok. I also realize, however, that lecturing must be supported. Students must work with the content they learn. Recognizing and defining words, for example, is valuable, but students should be able to move beyond this. We should expect and hope our students can take what they have learned and build on it in their own way. Yet, this does not mean that if students are exciting and talking to eachother that they are necessarily experiencing deeper learning. Walking around the classroom, one can notice that most of the laughs have nothing to do with mitosis. Although providing opportunity for relationship building is an important part of classroom development, it is also important to create tasks that encourage communication, collaboration and further cirtical thinking about the subject. For example, I had an experience where students were asked to "teach" their classmates about a component of the cell. I allowed this to be a very open-ended assignment, and I found many of the students just copied answers off of eachother. So, next time when planning a similar project involving the musckuloskeletal system, I designed the activtiy with more guidelines. Students will have to create a google slide presentation and present their ideas to their group. Then, all group members will have to answer questions made up by the presenters. This ensure that all students will be teaching their specific subject to their peers, and all peers will have to participate fully, thereby increasing their understanding of the topic. So far, my practicum has been extremely hectic and chaotic, but I wouldn't have it any other way. If I could make the perfect classroom, I would make sure that students are on task for all of the 75 minutes. However, I realize that might not always be the case (actually, that is rarely the case). I am realizing, however, that having speific daily routines while consistantly changing the types of day-to-day activities we do in class will help students feel comfortable in their environments and exicited to see what the next day has in store. The first two weeks of practicum did not go as I expected them to. When I reflect on my experiences from last year, I wasn’t anticipating any problems going into this semester. I mean, both classes were grade 10 academic, so how different could they be? Well, the dynamics are definitely different. I have learned that no matter how similar a class may seem compared to another, there will always be differences and alternative struggles we will have to face. There are so many factors that have affected the classroom atmosphere. From how the classes are set up (in my case, pods vs. lab desks), to the number of students (low 20s to 35), to the subject matter (math vs science), to the individuals themselves, each and every class will have unique setbacks and unique strengths.
These past two weeks have allowed me to come into my own as an equitable teacher, making me realize that sternness can have a place, just as laughing, joking and smiling does. I have realized that setting clear expectations with a class is extremely important in order to ensure that students fully understand what they (and I) are expected to do and what possible consequences may be if expectations are not met. I find this is particularly important in a class where there are many activities and group work involved. In a room full of hyper and moving bodies, it is critical that all students are aware of the importance of respecting each other, the class and the school. |
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December 2016
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